Zerifachias Gamer Reviews

[Zerifachias]

Okay.

As you all should know by now, Zeri is a hardcore gamer, with less experience in PC games than console games, but knows plenty of good games for both.

Basically, what this thread was created for, is my reviews of certain games, all of which can be found listed below.

Reviewed Games:
+ Terraria
+ The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
+ Dungeons of Dredmor
+ Bastion
+ The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
+ Sanctum
+ Waves
+ Team Fortress 2

To-Be Reviewed Games:
+ Minecraft
+ Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes
+ Magicka
+ Garry's Mod
+ Portal
+ Portal 2
+ Solar 2
+ Torchlight

*All of the above are games that I have played so far

+ Dungeon Defenders
+ Starcraft II

*The above two games I have yet to play/purchase. Dungeon Defenders is the only one of the two that I own.

All reviews can be found in the next posts. All reviews will be linked to the list above. Posting in this thread is forbidden unless you are Zeri. Which you are not. Heathens.

[Zerifachias]

Terraria.

A 2D adventure inspired by Minecraft where you can play as a single character or play on multiplayer in order to dig deep into the Underworld, gain health and mana, fight mobs, defeat bosses, tackle dungeons, craft the world and build your home to attract NPC's who can help you in your quest.

What is your quest?

...That's the wrong question.

What do you want your quest to be?

In the world of Terraria, your imagination is key to a good experience.

~

Now, for my real review, I give Terraria a 3/5.

It's a very good game...when you play it for the first time. The art for hostiles and NPCs is cute, and the AI gets a bit smarter as you move through the bosses and the harder mobs, which is good. When you are first exploring everything and finding whole bunches of cool stuff in the world, the game can get pretty addicting. But...

The problem arises when you "beat" the game, by which I mean you obtain everything there is to obtain, you defeat all of the bosses, and you've crafted just about every item in the game. You suddenly stop wanting to play the game. The replay-ability of Terraria is fairly low, even though the producers have made HUGE patches to the game so it has around twice the amount of stuff it did when Terraria first came out.

Terraria, is it better than Minecraft? Well, let's put it this way:

Minecraft is still in Beta.

Terraria is a fully-released game.

It would be unfair to compare them, but...

Minecraft is much better.

In conclusion, for the price to buy Terraria, I do not believe that it is worth your money. Wait until it goes on sale to buy it instead. I got it as a gift, so I didn't lose any money. Well, that ends my review of Terraria. I hope it was informative and enjoyable for you all. Until my next review, Zeri out!

[Zerifachias]

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

A fantastic new game for Nintendo's Wii that requires you to buy a motion plus attachment to your Wii Remote and requires a download and installation of an update that is very not-a-hassle to deal with. Despite these parts, once you crack open the disc, insert it to your game, and press that fancy little start button, your grand adventure begins.

I got the 25th Anniversary limited edition pack, so I have the soundtrack included in my purchase. I have not opened that CD just yet, but I have played around 10 hours of the actual game. I've gone through two of the dungeons so far, and died only once, because I was an idiot for running into a boulder that takes away all your hearts when it hits you (OUCH).

I immediately fell in love with this game, 1 hour in. The beginning sequence is a bit painstaking, but it's the typical "Hey, it's a new adventure, there might be a newbie to the Zelda games, so lets show him/her the ropes!" But in all honesty, I think Nintendo could have added the option to skipping all the tutorial stuff. They do later on, but in the beginning you're pretty much forced to listen to advice. Some of it is new, other bits are old, so I suppose it balances out.

You might be saying, "Zeri! Since your 10 hours into the game, that must mean you're halfway through it, right!?" And to that I would reply: No you twat, this isn't -fucking- Twilight Princess. I just got to the third place, I'm not even at the dungeon. I just got there, and saved and quit the game, because I'm about to go to sleep. And by the sounds of it, there is a LOT of content in this game. And I'm one of those completionists, when it comes to Zelda games.

The graphical quality is very charming, it has a nice feel to it. It's similar to Wind Waker, but not as overboard with the cartoonish style. The graphics in Wind Waker were pretty...unique, to say the least. No, Skyward Sword found a graphical quality that really fits the Zelda franchise. Nintendo did an amazing job on the graphics, even if they aren't like Crisis 2 or Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, they're still very good. They appeal to essentially all ages.

As for the battle interface...

....

I don't even WANT to describe the battle interface, so instead, I'll do this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIJRAcVf5tY

*shivers* Ohhh, yes. Lay down the TRUTH Beato.

Anyway.

The 1-1 battle interface allows you take the sword into your own hands, essentially. It's a bit jerky at certain times, and it doesn't always follow your exact movements (because a heavy hand like mine makes Link swing his sword every time I wiggle my hand), but you can see that it's absolutely amazing how Nintendo finally found out how the Wii controls were supposed to work. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword integrates this perfectly, given the few minor issues (I just need to train *flexes muscles*).

If you don't quite get what I'm saying, just look at that youtube link I posted up there.

Also, if you do not have this game...

I am very disappointed in you.

And we shall leave you like that. And when you finally do wake yourself up by farting and realize that this game is awesome, and that it is a sin that you don't have it, I will forgive you. Maybe.

This is like you and me, where I'm Maria, and you're Rosa. I'm crying because you don't know about Skyward Sword and you try to ignore my pain. So I'll kill you. Over. And over. And over. And over 100 times until Beatoriche tells me 'I leveled up.'

[Zerifachias]

Dungeons of Dredmor.

Do you guys remember those old rogue-like games? The unforgiving ones that, if you died, you lost everything? Does the name 'Doom' ring any bells for you? If you remember those old titles, then you know what Dungeons of Dredmor is.

Dungeons of Dredmor is a rogue-like rpg game with turn-based game mechanics. You have the option of Permadeath, which basically means that if you die, you're dead. And this game will kill you. Ruthlessly, wholly, completely, and unforgivingly kill you dead. And then it will laugh at you. I KID YOU NOT. Upon death, a series of letters pops up on your screen. Do you know what it says?

"Congratulations! You have died."

This is, by far, one of the best games I have ever played. I love dungeon rogue-likes like Doom to begin with, and Dungeons of Dredmore has an added sense of humor that makes the game feel like it was made for ME.

The main goal of the game is to go down all the different levels until you reach Lord Dredmor, kill him, then escape the dungeon, and that is how you win.

Now, you might be asking, "Zeri! Since you know how to beat the game, does that mean you've beaten it already?"

FOOL. OF COURSE I HAVEN'T. THIS SHIT IS HARD ON EASY MODE. The furthest I've gotten is level 7. I don't know how many levels there are, but there are more than 7.

This will be a short review for such an amazing game, I know, BUT.

Dungeons of Dredmor costs $5 at most. That's it. You can't get a bag of CANDY for $5 where I am! That is insane! Such an awesome game, that quite frankly could charge another $10 to the title, is cheap as chips! The developers are INSANE not to charge an extra $10! There is an expansion pack, called Return of the Diggle King (I think that is what it is called), which costs a little extra, but this game is definitely worth the purchase.

Hats off to Gaslamp Games for this amazing creation.

[Zerifachias]

Bastion.

I...I don't know where to start this game.

To say that this game is exciting...wouldn't do it justice. To say this game has the most unique storytelling...would be completely and entirely true.

This game makes me feel lonely. But in a good way. It centers around this one kid who wakes up on a rock in the sky. As you move, the ground forms beneath you to show you the path. This game rewards exploration like no other game. The narrator uses the best kind of voice to set the mood in this lonely RPG.

The main goal of Bastion is to find the cores of old, crumbled lands and take them to the Bastion, to restore the land, maybe not like how it was, but rebuild after the Calamity. The second goal...is to find survivors of the Calamity.

Although this game is lonely, it makes you feel hope for a twisted and broken world such as this. New land forms right in front of your eyes with each core that you take to the Bastion.

I've played 2 hours so far, but I don't know how long it takes to beat this game. All I know is that this is definitely THE game of 2011. Not to toot Skyrim's horn, but Bastion is much better at telling a story AND with battle mechanics. So FUCK YOU SKYRIM.

...

Guys, this game costs $15. If you do not buy it, I'm sorry, but you are one of two things:

1. Ignorant
2. Ignorant

[Zerifachias]

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

So, remember when I said I was going to give this game a review on Saturday? Yeah, that worked out well. I was too busy sniping or bashing people's heads in with my warhammer to care. I actually spent my ENTIRE Saturday doing nothing but playing Skyrim. It was pretty damn enjoyable. I got from level 19 to level 27 pretty damn quick. Then I started a new game, with a Nord Barbarian character...who is level 12 right now. HA. This game has taken up so much of my time it's almost sad.

The Falmer are fucking assholes.

Anyway.

Skyrim has been on the whole world's mind since Bethesda first mentioned it...well, anyone who knew about the damn game anyway. I didn't learn about it until a few months before it was released, with the whole Mojang situation with Scrolls. Skyrim is my first experience with The Elder Scrolls, and I have to say...totally worth it.

Not only does this game keep the famous Bethesda ragdoll glitch, but it combines a beautiful world with hours upon ours of open exploration and quests. The leveling system is pretty good, but the interface is annoying. The battle system...well, I lag a lot, which causes a lot of my deaths, but a lot of other times I die to low-level people for almost no reason at all. With 160 hit points, I died to a level 5 bandit in a cinematic. I was at full health. I understand ME doing cinematic one-hit-kills on a level 5 bandit...

That was utter bullshit. There, I said it, Skyrim pisses me off sometimes.

But it's mostly lag that kills me. I'm glad I can play the game, so I won't complain too much.

...

This game is hard to review, because there's just SO MUCH to it. I've gotten to level 27, yeah, but how many quests have I done so far? A few. Maybe...18-22 quests...counting the main storyline quests.

Sorry if this review is a bit disappointing, but I just don't know what to talk about. The quests themselves? Too many. Focus on the main story quest?

...

The main story quest is actually a large number of quests. A very large number. I can't even begin to describe it.

I'll just answer the question these reviews are supposed to answer straight-up. Is Skyrim worth it?

Skyrim is $59.99 on Steam, which is how I bought it. 300+ hours of gameplay in an open world, nearly no limitations to exploration (you have to stay in the Skyrim area, but I don't see why you would want to visit any other place when Skyrim is so fucking huge). You can kill whoever the fuck you want to kill, if you want to pay the consequences for it. There is just SO much content...

Totally. Worth it.

[Zerifachias]

Sanctum

A nifty little twist on gaming that combines Tower Defense and First-Person Shooter. It doesn't run very well on my computer because there are a lot of calculations going on in Tower Defense games, and this one is a bit...demanding.

Don't get me wrong, Sanctum is a very cool game that I would be playing regularly if my computer could handle it better. Sanctum is actually the first First-Person Shooter, or FPS for short, game that I enjoyed. Now, you might be asking, and I sincerely hope you aren't, "Zeri! What about Halo and Call of Duty? Haven't you played those before? I'd figure you would like those games..."

To which I would answer: "Yes bitches, I have played those games before. They are an insult to the gamer world, especially the PC gamer world. FUCK THOSE TITLES."

Don't even try to correlate Sanctum and CoD. I'll murder your face if you do. These games are entirely different.

In Sanctum, you spawn as a female soldier with three weapons. I believe there are more now, though I do not remember what they are. Your first weapon is the Assault Gun, which does little damage but has a lot of DPS (damage per second). It's good for the tiny mobs like the Runners. The second weapon is the Freeze Ray, which does exactly what you think it does. It slows or even freezes time for mobs in a certain radius of the blast point. The third weapon, and my favorite, is the Sniper Rifle, which is very powerful, but requires a long reload time after a number of shots. The rifle is also good at picking off far away enemies at the beginning of the round, flying enemies, or for pinpoint shots. There are some mobs who take zero damage unless you hit the glowing testicles on their head.

Yeah. You heard me right. Shoot them in the balls--located at the head. Aim steady, they like to wiggle.

The story of Sanctum is this--You are a warrior princess placed into a high-tech world where creeps and crawlers are trying to ruin your world (this game may or may not have been inspired by Starcraft). You are set in a position to protect the Core, which is basically the life force of the planet you are stationed on. Like any Tower Defense game, you can build a maze of death that the mobs have to travel through, but flying mobs can pass right over the walls.

That's basically it, you don't see any of the story in-game, it's just a background description on the Steam webpage. The game is just Tower Defense with a bit of FPS thrown in there to satisfy customers. Also, fanservice. You're playing a female character. Deal wit'it.

Oh, and every time you beat/defend a world successfully...you get to see some kickass dancing.

$20.00 on Steam. Worth it if you like Tower Defense.

[Zerifachias]

Waves

A shoot-em-up game, similar to the old game Asteroids and, in a way, Space Invaders. Only this game has lots of flashy lights and particles to distract you as you try to destroy an onslaught of differently-colored orbs dubbed "Viruses" with your little white orb. Mercifully, this little white orb of yours shoots bullets 5 or 6 at a time every 1/4 second, and you also have available two other weapons: Slowmo and Bomb.

The buffer for Slowmo fills up over time, so it's something you should use a lot. It slows time down by about half for you, and if you kill any viruses in this time, you get double points. The buffer for Bomb fills up when you kill consistently, and goes down anytime you are not killing something. And the buffer doesn't last long, so you should use it right away.

The game has a few modes for you to play, and all of them are fun. Crunch time for your time-trial needs, Survival for your...well, survival needs. They have speed challenges and skill challenges and reaction-time challenges as well. It's a very difficult and frustrating game, but rewarding if you do well.

At the end of each level, there is some witty random text that shows up, depending on your performance, at the viewing of the leaderboard. Always makes me laugh.

This is a game for when you have time to waste for a quick round of heart-racing action. Difficult, frustrating, and most of all, fun. But there's nothing else about this game. No story, no emotion. It's a shooter game. Enjoy it for what it is.

$9.99 on Steam. If you like shoot-em-ups as much as I do, then this would be worth it. If fast-paced shooter games are not for you, then don't buy it.

[Zerifachias]

Team Fortress 2

In two days, I have spent 7 hours in this game. It's fun. It's addictive. And best of all? It's free-to-fuckin'-play. It used to have a pricetag on it, but that went away a few years ago, and has since been free-to-play. This is a great business decision for Valve, which they tend to have a lot of.

Valve <3

Remember when you used to play capture the flag in middle school? Well, I don't. I was never picked for a team, assholes. But this game lets me relive my memories in a different way, as a part of the community. Sometimes you get a good team, sometimes they suck more than you do, but the best part is it's always fun, even if you do lose occasionally.

If you guys haven't seen the Meet The Movies, allow me to connect you to the link: http://www.teamfortress.com/movies.php

It's fun, cartoony violence coupled with more violence, all wrapped in a Sandvich of violence. Hilarity ensues.

Pricetag? What pricetag? I've already said it's free to play. As long as you have a decent internet connection, and you like big explosions and body parts flying everywhere (and fire), there is no reason why you should not be playing this game. Seriously.

If you don't like FPS games though, like Kuori, then I'd understand...so long as you gave this game a shot.

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