I seek solace in the frigid rain, so that my transgressions might be forgiven.
The lightning that once distracted my target from me has now betrayed me, and with every flash I see a dastardly vision of my upcoming death. The winter’s rain gently falls upon me, and I pray with intense determination that this chilly relief was bestowed upon me by the angels who wish to cleanse my soul instead of purge it. My breath grows increasingly ragged in the storm—is it the fear that forces my heart to beat faster or my lungs to tire from such sedentary activity? I gaze upwards at the dark sky filled with ominous thunderclouds that relinquished their contents down upon the island.
The island. Only five years had passed since I arrived at my uncle’s castle on this solitary island. That was perhaps the beginning of my descent into Hell that ended up with me hanging from the battlements of the same castle. I must say that my dread story began when my parents were murdered. Belonging to a rich family in a nicely structured community seemed to have advantages…and disadvantages; those disadvantages including alluring thieves to raid my home and steal the family treasures along with gruesomely decimating my parents as a present. Regardless, I felt no regret. People died all the time, after all. Besides, I would soon be taking residence in a place of which I once thought of as a paradise, but now only see as one more circle of Hell in which to traverse before I reach the final level where I belong. My grandmother had lived in the same town as me and my parents had, but a year prior to their deaths, she went on vacation with my grandfather and never returned. Otherwise, I would have ended up living a meaningless existence among them.
A couple of days after the raid on my home, the authorities urged me onto a ship with most of my belongings and sent me on my way; to where, I did not know. The seas were fair, and every morning during the voyage, I was greeted by the refreshingly invigorating aroma of salty air. However, the bright sun and clear skies dotted with puffy, white cumulus became droll after a while. Fortunately, the ship arrived at its destination after about a fortnight. I stepped down onto the dock with possessions in hand and looked around. I was standing on a solitary island that must have been out in the middle of the ocean. Behind me, the ship took off and I was stranded in this foreign land.
I dared not take a single step and thus remained rooted to the dock for what must have been hours before I heard the clopping of horse hooves getting louder and louder. Before me now was a black carriage pulled by white horses. How odd the sight was. Such juxtaposed elements—light and darkness. But I cared not. I only deigned for shelter and a hot meal. The driver helped me load my luggage and we were soon on our way. By shear exhaustion, I fell into a peaceful slumber.
* * *
My eyes opened slowly to reveal a dark room with a single candle casting its dim light about the place. I was lying in a low bed with white sheets pulled up to my chin and a fluffy pillow beneath my head. The ceiling, walls, and even the floor were composed of dark gray stone. It was at this moment that I fell in love with the building in which I would reside for an additional five years. My luggage remained in a corner, untouched. The abysmal night sky that blanketed the earth and protected it in a gentle embrace sparkled with the glimmer of the shining luminance of the stars. But that mattered not to me—I only cared about where I was, for I wanted it to be mine.
The next day I learned that I was now taking residence in my uncle’s castle located in the center of his private island. I spent the rest of the month of my arrival exploring the grand castle, examining every stone, and curiously scrutinizing each room built into this masterpiece. I fell in love, but our love was not meant to be. My uncle was rich, healthy, and fairly young—his success would ensure his immortality. Until that fated night…
After spending five years with my beloved uncle and gaining his trust, he finally let on that he was leaving me the castle in his will, for he observed that I loved it so. However, when I was supposed to feel utter delight, I actually felt distress. How could I wait for this man to die? He was in his early 30s and I doubted that he would die anytime soon…naturally. That night, the rain poured relentlessly down upon my future treasure, delicate drops leaking slowly down the windowpanes. My uncle was taking his brandy in the study, and I interrupted him with a knock upon his door. At his command, I entered. He was surprised to see me up so late, but did not respond to his comment; I just smiled in anticipation. I drew ever closer to him. How could such a being remain so calm when the grasp of death is so imminent? I thrust a butcher knife into his heart as he gazed carelessly into my eyes, about to say something, a flash of lightning blinding him to the fact that his death was imminent. His eyes widened in horror as I twisted the knife around inside of him—making a horrible gaping hole in one of his most important organs. The life seemed to depart from him instantly, and I was left to cradle a decrepit body, one of my own creation.
Though, I did not understand a very important human emotion, and that was guilt. I wandered through the hallways of the castle searching for the will without the slightest bit of emotion surging through my veins. I soon became frightened, however, for around every corner in a flash of lightning, I saw him. His spectral figure hovered just outside the periphery of my vision and disappeared. I knew my eyes were playing tricks on me, yet I felt no regret once again. It was my sole determination to find the will, and I endeavored to do so with vigor. Ascending to the highest level of the castle after finding nothing in the ones below, I kicked open the door to my uncle’s bedchamber. All is calm. But as I take a step forward, I am sent fleeing from that accursed room as a kerosene lamp on a nearby table clearly flew through the air and landed in front of me in a burst of flame. A panic swept over me as I climbed the stairs to the battlements. How could this be happening? Lamps do not tend to fly about of their own accord. The doors to the battlements burst open as I pushed them outward with great force. I was greeted by an amazingly rejuvenating rain; the nearly freezing temperature was just right. I closed my eyes and smiled, letting the drops hit my face until the battlement doors slammed shut behind me, and, in another flash of lightning, I saw the image again. Thus, I fled. The foolishness of my flight did not come to mind until I looked out across the island from the edge of the battlements with nowhere to run. Turning around slowly, I prepared for the worse, but saw nothing. It was with another flash of lightning that my uncle’s transparent face growled menacingly, almost inhumanly, in my face sending me scrambling over the edge and forcing me to grab hold of one of the very stones that I so adored.
The solace I deigned to have was something that I merely coveted and would never understand. It was my crime, and I had to pay for it. God does not accept insanity pleas in any case, so what defense have I? As the lightning revealed to me the ghostly form of my deceased uncle, his face calm and serene, I smiled. I knew what I must do. Out of respect instead of fear, I released my hold on the stone. As I fell, I understood that it was not the rain that was cleansing my soul, but the thud of my body colliding with the ground that set my soul free. And I cursed my tendencies to act rashly on certain issues, but it was my sin, and there was no reversing it. But what truly was my transgression? It was not the murder of my uncle that condemned me to Hell, but the greed mingled with insanity that drove me to the deed.
Thus, my soul shall never truly be “set free,” but held captive by the chains of self-indulgence. For Eternity.
*Thanks to Mayari for the wonderful avatar/signature combo
WhippedCreame wrote:oh god yes eat my spaghetti confetti
- Eternal Dreamer
- Posts : 16365
Join date : 2009-10-28
Age : 24
Location : Home or work. Or some post-apocalyptic dream.
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