Animus: Accession

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Animus: Accession

Post by Shalespine on Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:02 am

Somehow I had thought I already posted this here XD Anywho!

My friend and I have been writing a fantasy novel together for about 2 years now, and with it nearing completion, I'd like to post this excerpt and see what you all think.

As this is a very raw draft with little to no editing aside from some spelling and grammer checking, I would like to ask that in-depth critiques, while extremely appreciated, be kept simple. We are both very aware this needs serious revision

So what is this story about? Basically:

In a world, governed by twin dragon spirits live three dominant races, Man, Beast and Animus. In a time of great war, these spirits created the Animus to show both the the humans and beasts of the world that only in peace could they become stronger. The war dissolved, these hybrids of Man and Beast left to discover their own path and were slowly forgotten with the passing generations. Struggling within their own fragile society, the once great Animus Clan was shattered and scattered across the world in small tribes or poor slums in the human cities.

Generations later, young Luca Grayfang discovers his gift of foresight through dreams, and when a long string of dark and terrible nightmares, foretelling the destruction of his tribe, plagues his sleep he takes it upon himself to find the cause and a way to stop it before it grows out of control.

Accompanied by his friend Aster and animus twin thieves-for-hire, Blanche and Reve, later on, the four are pulled in a whirl of danger as they run from the mysterious Madame Felidae, an aristocratic sorceress with eyes only for the twins and her revenge.


Right now, all you need to know for this is that the four have been on the run for a while and have taken a moment of reprieve to get some well-earned rest in the cover of the woods. Luca's peace has been shattered by yet another nightmare.

A bolt of energy shot through Luca that made him gasp as he woke with a great start. Drenched in a cold sweat and panting tiredly, he looked like a mess with wide eyes that seemed to stare far off into the distance and a look of pure fear with the smell to accompany it.

“Luca!” Aster had jumped out of a dead sleep, startled by Luca’s commotion. “What’s wrong!?”

Aster’s voice brought him back to reality, and he looked around at the thicket just to be sure it really had been just a dream. Smoke no longer plagued the confined space, and he scrambled outside without answering his friend and ran around the clearing looking for any trace of smoke or fire. There was nothing. He let out the breath he had been holding and sank slightly, hands on his knees to keep him from dropping as he caught his breath. Aster left Blanche and Reve in the thicket to go to him.

“Another dream?” he guessed quietly.

Luca looked back at him, tears welling in his eyes. He nodded and straightened, drying his eyes. “This was the worst one yet.” He kicked the dirt and raked his claws across the bark of a tree in despair and frustration, “I wish I knew what they meant!”

“I didn’t want to bring this up before, but nothing’s happened.” Aster continued at a low tone, “Have you ever considered that it may just be a dream?”

Luca rounded on him as if Aster had suggested mutiny. “How can you say that!? Every dream I’ve had has come true in some way or another, every dream!”

Aster snarled back. “All I’m saying is that this small string hasn’t. Maybe these are just dreams. You were stressed out about your mom getting sick around the time you had them, and you’ve been under more stress as we’ve gone along. Maybe your head’s just trying to vent.

Luca only huffed. “You couldn’t possibly understand, Aster. It’s not that simple. These dreams,” he fixed his hair, “they don’t feel like dreams. I feel like I’m really there, I could walk around and talk to people just as easily as I do now. Someone or something keeps trying to tell me something in these dreams, and it’s important. Like, the forest, our home, depends on it.” He looked back at his friend with soft and pitiful eyes, “I have to know.”

“Have to know what?” came a soft and groggy voice.

The two stopped their conversation short and looked back at the source of the voice.
Blanche was crawling out of the thicket, her hair more of a shaggy mess than before, eyes heavy with sleep. She let out a small yawn, “This is surprising. Are you two fighting?”
“Fighting? No,” Aster laughed.

Reve crawled out right behind her, looking at the two curiously as he ran his fingers through his hair, “You two okay? It’s really early. The sun isn’t even up yet.” He looked at Blanche and smiled softly, brushing through her hair with his fingers, earning a small pout from her.

“Everything’s fine.” Luca said, looking tired and somewhat frazzled as he tried to calm himself down. “We’re just used to getting up early, and we didn’t want to wake you two.”

“Well, since we’re all awake now, we might as well start heading out.” She sighed, stretching as she stood up. She had been right, her body was stiff, joints popping and straining as she tried to loosen up. “Hurry up, now! You woke us up, so get moving! Chop-chop!”

Reve gave them both an apologetic smile as Blanche ran off ahead, “Sorry. She’s used to leading the way, being the boss. But she’s right, we really should get going.”

“You’d think the wrath of the Spirits were after her or something.” Aster snickered.
His expression turned serious, “Madame’s no ordinary client. She’s got ways of finding us, no matter how much we hide. Running is our only option right now.” He gave them both a small nod and ran after Blanche.

Aster caught up with them quickly while Luca decided to hold up the rear today. His mind still reeling with visions from his dream, he wanted to try and sort out what it meant in the privacy of the back of their mixed running pack.

Sleep-Deprived Zombie
Sleep-Deprived Zombie

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