Ramblings of an Imaginative Idiot

One thing I think people tend to forget nowadays is that life isn’t a single happy ending to look forward to, or a single story to tell. Our lifetimes are made up of hundreds of stories all collected, and they’re not just one genre of story. We can live an epic poem in a single day and a haiku in a hundred years. However long or short, there is no paraphrasing adequate of a lifetime.

I for one shall live in a hundred fairy tales, a single tragedy, thousands of great romances, and a sitcom. And I’ll live out my days in a paranormal detective story, if only in my head.

Now that, I promise.

I'm not sure how long it takes for someone to go completely insane. It's supposed to be subjective, but when you think about it, it's statistically evident that if you're not naturally insane by 24, something else is going to have to do it for you. Now I've always said that I'm slowly losing my mind, as time passes, and a lot of people think I'm just joking. Sometimes I am, but it's always easier to hide the blatant truth in plain sight.

I haven't killed anybody yet, as far as I know. The other me in my head admonishes me of the urges I feel, the things I think about. Like blood, for instance. To some people it's gross, to others it's just natural. To someone like me, it sounds delicious and makes my mouth water. That slightly metallic taste, and it's so warm and close to your own body temp that you can barely feel it on your tongue. It's intoxicating, a bit like a drug I guess. Or like sex, if done right.

I've had problems with my temper all my life, wanting to hit and hurt things when I'm angry. And I have before. Animals, dogs mostly, and sometimes one of my younger siblings. I've never permanently damaged them, but I've wanted to. I know how easy it would be to do so, how easy it would be to break a small bone in their bodies. And I'm ashamed of it, as I should be. Why I have all these things and a paralyzing moral compass is beyond me. But it's what drives me to do what I've always seemed to want to do: catch bad guys. Be the hero behind the scenes who can figure out the puzzle and stop the guy, or whoever, from hurting someone else.

I guess I should've realized I just wanted to put a stop to people like me. But there are other things to look forward to. Now that I'm fully aware of my orientation, I can seek out the right kind of companionship, someone who understands. I can write stories and crack up with my friends, play video games to my heart's content. And as I learn more about myself, I find I learn more about others and how they work and why they do what they do.

But now, as I hit a roadblock in my ramble, it's time to conclude this tiny chapter.

As a slashy fanfiction writer, (who started as an original fiction writer, thankyou very much) I find it extremely frustrating that a lot of the fictions I come across are just so . . . out of character. And extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY, unrealistic. I don't mean just the unrealistic sex being written, but the way the characters themselves are being written. Take Criminal Minds for instance. I love the pairing of Hotch and Reid, but almost every fiction I've come across with the two of them has Reid as some kind of needy damsel in distress, when he's proven time and again that he can take care of himself and stick up for others very well. And how Hotch is usually written as some kind of overbearing, scary possessive, control freak, when Hotch is the closest thing to a true to the bone, honest to god hero that I have ever seen.

It just doesn't make sense to me. Until you take into account the countless bored housewives, immature preteens, and somewhat psychotic people with quite a number of strange fetishes out there. I've beat myself up before over how naiive and unrealistically romantic I tend to be in my writings, but I can't fucking help it. I'm sick of all the angsty, sex-fueled crap people feel the need to spew on the internet. In gay male relationships, they're both guys and neither can actually be established as a girl. Get it through your head please. If you're going to write a fanfiction, please know your characters correctly and at least try to be realistic. You'd be very surprised at just how much better it is than a random S&M PWP fic.

Unless you just don't care about the writing. But if that's the case, why the hell are you writing in the first place?

OMG YES! I totally agree, and I try to avoid that unholy bullshit, but try to understand that most characters are simply BEYOND the writer's comprehension.
Take for instance Jane from "The Mentalist". I've seen a few fanfics on him (and usually Elizabeth) but he's poorly done because he's too WELL done in the movie, and most people simply aren't good at psychological analysis'. Let's face it: somebody with a psychology degree is definitely helping write that show, and that makes the ability to comprehend--even with hours of research--impossible for the writer.

I don't come across this issue because I'm a total psych-slut, a weird psychotic one at that, but one nonetheless. I found the best way to go about comprehending a character you simply can't comprehend is by character mapping him. Finding out his traits and usual actions--take some lines of his representing his personality and write it down on paper.

For instance, if Jane came onto Elizabeth--wait he wouldn't. So, that means, Elizabeth would have to come onto Jane. And that is the first issue most writers hit--some scenarios simply can't be written IC.

. . . Your ramblings are not meant to be here. However much I may or may not disagree with you, I'm the only idiot losing my sanity in this thread.

I've recently come to the conclusion that Youtube and the rest of the internet kinda sucks, and I know who fucked it up. We did. Well, all of us who are greedy and money-loving, or money-lusting as the case may be.

It's because of copyrights that so much of the free content that we could be enjoying right now is just not available, either in our country or at all legally. Did you know that copyright lasts for over a hundred years now? And it used to be like less than a decade? This means that so much of the intellectual property available to us over the internet, the so called information highway, is simply unavailable. Which, in this day and age of rapidly evolving intelligence, is a huge setback.

And, to be honest, it's not just the internet. It's in video games, music, movies, TV shows, books, all that stuff. Video games I have a better example for: Have you noticed how a lot of indie game developers are starting to rise above all these big name companies? A lot of it has to do with these big companies (especially their marketers) who just want to make a bunch of money rather than produce something the rest of the world would actually enjoy spending their money on and playing. Which is where copyright comes in, after the fact. They would rather hold on to their product for so long to make a humongous profit off of it, rather than let it go after a fair amount of time to let someone else expand on the idea and move forward.

And then of course, all this plays into how the world really is and how it really works and just how ignorant people are willing to be of it. Of all the information and ideas held back on us for profit, there's still a lot out there, right at our fingertips. And most people are content to play their damn facebook games and let the world and everyone who's supposedly in power slide right by them, with nary a complaint.

What the hell guys? Seriously.

You know, this isn't really a thread for me to keep complaining about the world and it's serious problems . . . even though that's what it looks like. All I'm really trying to do here is spread some ideas and leave you wondering whether or not I'm actually serious. Think of it like I'm trying to be my own debate team. I have to represent a side of a certain argument whether or not I agree or disagree with it.

Or you could just say I'm venting. I could be trying out a mindset to see if I can write it. I could be intentionally pissing you off or increasing your blood pressure. I could just be writing these because I'm a narcissistic attention whore who feels the need to yuke up my schizophrenic personalities. Who knows?

All I really care about is whether you're reading. Because I require attention I don't even know I'm getting.

;P