How to Kill 101 Profiles

Name: Conrad Russell
DOB: 06/22/92
Age: 17
Gender: I have a Y chromosome.
Intended Major: Creative Writing
Talents: Cracking bad jokes, making friends, eating twice my own body weight.
Shortcomings: I'm only 5'4".

Personality: I'm a dog-lover kind of guy. I was born and raised by a loving family, the kind of family where the mother always bakes a pie even though there's no special occasion that asks for pie.

"Mr. Russell. Are you mocking me?"

"Uhhh... no? What's wrong with my app, sir?"

"That's Maestro Sadico to you."

Name: Conrad Russell
DOB: 06/22/92
Age: 17
Gender: I have a Y chromosome. Male
Intended Major: Creative Writing Assassination - With an Emphasis on Stealth
Talents: Cracking bad jokes, making friends, eating twice my own body weight. None.
Shortcomings: I'm only 5'4". An awful sense of humor.

Personality: I'm a dog-lover kind of guy. I was born and raised by a loving family, the kind of family where the mother always bakes a pie even though there's no special occasion that asks for pie. Incompetent.

Thanks a lot, asshole. What a waste of ink.

Code:

[center][i][size=20]~*Application Form*~[/center][/i][/size]

[b]Name:[/b]       
[b]DOB:[/b]       
[b]Age:[/b]         
[b]Gender:[/b]         
[b]Intended Major:[/b]         
[b]Talents:[/b]         
[b]Shortcomings:[/b]       

[b]Personality:[/b]         

Name: Gregory Parisii
DOB: 03/24/94
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Intended Major: Support - Tactical
Talents: Long-range combat specialist.
Shortcomings: Perfectionist

Personality: Calm, focused, alert

"Ah, a perfect application. You could learn a thing or two from Parisii, Mr. Russell."

"Huh... I'll keep that in mind, Maestro Sadico..."

Name: Riley Cromwell
DOB: 04/16/93
Age: 16
Gender: ???
Intended Major: Reconnaissance Seduction
Talents: Very perceptive and observant. Always infers things by inspecting the surroundings.
Shortcomings: I tend to miss the whole picture by focusing too much on individual facts and observations.

Personality: I'm fairly quiet, but I know how to get loud when having a great time with friends. Being silent is all apart of my false demeanor to trick enemies and the such.

"Maestro Sadico, I thought his application looked fine. Why'd you transfer him to--Oh. Ohhh."

"Don't judge me. It would've been a waste of his good looks."

"I thought 'he' was a chick..." I'm starting to understand how this place works. Gross.

Name: Maxwell Sonrico
DOB: 10/08/93
Age: 15
Gender: I'm a guy.
Intended Major: Sweeper; Note: May opt for Demolitions training
Talents: Bomb defusing; demolitions expert.
Shortcomings: I'm a slow runner......

Personality: Often quiet, not very social or talkative, I do my work when I'm told to.

"Lucinda, what do you think my father would make of this...? It's not very informative. It's so clear-cut and to the point. All these little boys signing up for our school--I just don't understand. Do they think they're playing hero when they murder?"

"Who knows? More target practice for the Maestro. He'll accept this one."

Name: Jack Drimmer
DOB: 03/05/93
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Intended Major: Heavy Artillery Undecided
Talents: Causing explosions, mass-killings, mixing drinks.
Shortcomings: I have a tendency to overreact to things.

Personality: I'm a firebrand of passion.

"Hm... The Maestro will be pleased. Unfortunately."

"Étienne, he's a madman--But your employer. Now then... I wonder how Kyrinth will deal with this one. He's choosy about guns."

"Boyue. Slip poison in their drinks and I'll have to hurt you."

"You know me too well."

Name: Marie Rochefort
DOB: 06/06/94
Age: 15
Gender: Spawn of Satan Female
Intended Major: Weapons - Blades
Talents: I'm skilled with knives, guns, baseball bats, flammable objects, paraphernalia of torture, hairdryers, and other sharp objects. My measurements are above average.
Shortcomings: I'm hostile towards pink-haired humans of an unknown gender.

Personality: I'm a avid believer in the occult, I have an odd lust for blood, and I'm a tiny bit psychoneurotic.

"Can I keep her?"

"No."

"Hey! I want her, too!"

"THEN LEAD A DAMN FACTION, YOU TWO!!"

Name: Crazy Bitch Serene Lily
DOB: Never 05/25/92
Age: 71 17
Gender: Like you need to know. Female
Intended Major: How to become Unemployed. Assassination
Talents: I'm silent and controlled, and I am skilled with knives of all shapes and sizes. I also have an awesome ability to sneak up on people. Fun, amirite?
Shortcomings: I get angry rather easily, and my judgment becomes rash. Also, I have a problem with listening to people.

Personality: Leave me alone. So what if I'm emo? What else? I have a horrible temper, and I anger quickly. I'm afraid of sharp objects too. Unorthodox.

"At least she bothered to correct her own errors. Yes, Mr. Russell?"

"She took this less seriously than I did!!"

Name: Tamama
DOB: Um...Not everyone asked me this..Especially Gunsou-san, desu .
Age: 19, desu.
Gender: ..I'm a boy, desu.
Intended Major: Combat, desu! So I can help more in Gunsou-san's mission to conquer Pekopon, desu! Also, to hone my skills to protect him from all sorts of danger...Especially from THAT WOMAN! I'll snap that bitch's scrawny neck for trying to steal my Gunsou-san!!!
Talents: ..Well, I can perform Chi-attacks in my fighting style, desu..
Shortcomings: ..I love sweets.. And I'm kinda diabetic, desu.
Personality: Despite the usual disposition of being gentle, benevolent and cheerful, Tamama has a tendency to exhibit mood swings that border on a somewhat terrifying (Albeit it can be also odd, weird or just downright silly... Depends on how one perceives it, that is.) split personality...Heralded by a sound of popping balloon, all of the young Keronian's usual and seemingly harmless facade can be transformed into that of an unstable, genocidal, vengeful and raving maniac's. Tamama is also prone to extreme jealousy...

Name: Quinn Fiore
DOB: 09/01/90
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Intended Major: Reconnaissance
Talents: Cool-headed and diligent, always puts her duty above all else, surprisingly insightful, doesn't judge.
Shortcomings: A bit too dedicated, somewhat of a killjoy.

Personality: Mild-mannered and impossible to fluster, Quinn will be an excellent addition to your roster. She's a good girl, and although she was but a street rat when I found her, she was a quick learner and adapted quite easily. Quinn isn't very easy to excite, and she'll follow orders without so much as a complaint. She can, however, be sociable for the sake of a mission.
- Yours, Messere Fiore

"Is she still around? This is an old application. It's from five years ago."

"I didn't see her at orientation. I wonder..."