Corrupt-A-Wish

Your wish is granted, however all the answers are wrong and you end up failing the course.

I wish for the annihilation of the human race.

Your wish is granted, all Homo Sapiens are eliminated. What you could not have forseen is the rise of the domestic dog as an increasingly resourceful and cunning species, as their intelligence has evolved over the centuries, and their transformation in the new humanoid species on the planet. Unfortunately, they are not really nicer than us, and in the end, nothing is changed, not even appearance.

I wish for the power to black out a random star.

Granted, but what you're actually doing is moving the star to a different galaxy.

I wish for good fire-type pokemon to appear in the next generation.

Granted, but he's another fire/fighting-type.

I wish for a fuzzy pillow.

Granted, but you get an allergic reaction and suffocate in your sleep.

I wish for incorruptible politicians.

Granted, but then our justice system becomes like that of Judge Dredd. Justice is served to all and the punishment is the same: death.

I wish that I had a job. :/

Granted, you work at McDonalds for 14 hours per day, every day. Your only holiday is for some religion that you don't believe in.

I wish for the death of the two-party system.

Granted, but then they start beating you for believing differently instead.

I wish I had a new game to play.

Granted, but it becomes the only acrobatic feat you are capable of, even after you attempt to make a career of it. Eventually, you become a mere sideshow act in a traveling circus with Floozo the Clown as your only companion.

I wish I was Master of the Universe.

I should've known what I was getting into with that one.

Anyhow, granted! But since nobody knows who that is, you'll die penniless and alone.

I wish I could meet Tobuscus. ;-;

Granted, but someone spelled his name wrong on your ticket and you end up in the middle of the Savannah. Stranded, you become a nomad monk and reach Nirvana before peacefully passing away during meditation, so you become a religious figure that people look up to and idolize. You even have a shrine built on your final resting place.

But you never end up meeting Tobuscus.

I wish I had a ham and cheese sammich.

Granted, but soon the bad writters give up after realising their lack of talent, and with so few people writing, the act of producing fan-fic dies out.

I wish I was immune to the harmful effects of what I smoke.

Granted, but you have to stop smoking for it to work.

I wish for seagulls to be extinct.

Granted, but with the extinction of seagulls their natural predators are forced to find other means of food, specifically humans.

I wish to become a panda

Granted, but singing becomes illegal and you cannot use your talent for fear of prosecution.

I wish for this paper that is due tomorrow to finish itself somehow. =3=

Granted, but you can never turn the power off and can only hear the sexual or stupid thoughts.

I wish that I wasn't in debt. =3=

Granted, but the money to pay that debt comes from a rich businessman. He is not happy, enjoy jail.

I wish for the city lights to go out during the night. Forever.

Granted, but now the aliens steering that meteor can't see where they're going, it crashes, and we all die :<

I wish I had a fluffy soft tail <3

Granted, but you're now a freak of nature and governments the world wide start hunting you down to run weird experiments on you. You hope the aliens pick you up but the only signal you can get a callback from are the Daleks. Luckily, this means you get to meet the Doctor and possibly help him save the world, but this also means you are a side character who will die in the process. I'm so sorry.

I wish I had $10,000.