Corrupt-A-Wish

Granted, but I eat that too.

I wish for a giant pie no one could eat or touch but me.

Granted, but it a'splodes!

I wish for a pile of gold.

Granted, but I turn it into lead.

I wish that I was more awesome than I already am.

Wish granted, but you're so awesome, that life itself is focusing on you, so everyone else dies. D:

I wish for an anime that can live up to Umineko in every way.

Granted, but it makes a sequel that sucks.

I wish I had something to do >>

Wish granted, but you decide to commit suicide.

I wish for another battle in Masq's RP.

Granted, but I lock you in my cellar.

I wish all anime was good and worth watching.

Wish granted, but they turn into audio files instead of episodes.

I wish for a tornado in Antarctica.

Granted, but it hails ice for a year in America

I wish that I had a license to kill.

Granted, but the first place you call is the Suicide hotline.

I wish Soviet Russia would go away. D:

Wish granted, but Soviet Russia takes you away. O:

I wish for a lemon.

Granted, but in Soviet Russia, lemons burn you.

I wish for an apple.

Granted, but it's rotten.

I wish for a clever pun.

Granted, but in Soviet Russia, puns aren't clever.

I wish for a horse.

Granted, but in Sovie-*Shot*

I wish for a new Shotgun. ;-;

Granted, however you shot yourself with it.

I wish I could stop with the Soviet Russia jokes.

Wish granted, but now you make jokes about Modern-Day North Korea.

I wish for a life that doesn't involve food that explodes.

Granted, but in Modern-Day North Korea, exploding foods is part of a nutritious breakfast.

I wish this would end. .-.

Granted, but it doesn't

I wish I had more computer time.

Wish granted, but your comp is extremely slooooow.

I wish for a rock that won't die, kill me, or leave me in any way.

Granted, but it drowns a fish, you get mad at it and leave it.

I wish that I could drown fish.

Wish granted, but to drown it, you need to take it out of water. When taken out of water, the fish goes into an insane rage, biting your head off.

I wish for a long and complex reason as to why this wish fails.

Granted.

I wish for a wish. :3

No, you don't.

I wish for a better response to my wish.

No you!

I wish for a Zebra